of happy ever after, one true love and flying spit
by alice hattercandy
Summary: He wonders what true love is. She answers with flying spit.


**title.** of happy ever after, one true love and flying spit  
**disclaimer.** _BLEACH_ belongs to Kubo Tite  
**summary.** she's always beautiful. Even when she's sneezing in his face.

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.he wonders what true love is

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**a.**

Was it possible for a deep frown to deepen _more?_

Yes, it was.

If you _are _Ichigo.

Lo and behold, the deepest frown known in _the _Frown History— _tada, tada!— _deepened into a _deeper _that Deepest V. Seconds later, two veins pounded on his temple simultaneously. The pulse was amazingly _potent_ that it was a wonder that he hadn't suffered from aneurysm.

_That _Wonderful Wonder deserved applause, really.

He tapped the ground with his foot irritably.

_Damn._

She's twenty minutes late. The tapping grew faster.

_What the hell happened?_

His amber eyes twitched.

Maybe she fell off a ditch.

_Oh hell no._

Or maybe she tripped and fell off a ditch.

_Shit._

Or maybe she was abducted by aliens and mecha-amazing trash cans that eat people and apples that chase pretty redheads with big breasts and long legs—

Ichigo rubbed his temple, leaning against a streetlight. _Worrying about her causes a lot of headaches. _He looked up to the sky, watching the telephone lines, the tangles, the birds, the bees and funny-looking, fluffy clouds that looked like flowers, bears and rhinos. Shoving a hand inside his pocket, he scowled off to the distance, still tapping the ground with his foot.

An eyebrow twitched.

And a pumpkin-shaped cloud became a squash.

The Frown deepened.

_Damn._

Did something happen?

The thought made his frown deepened… _more._ He looked at the direction where she usually came from, his forehead in worried crease. His lips thinned in a scowl of worry.

_Damn it, Orihime._

He knew she was Especially And Gracefully Clumsy and she attracted lots and _lots _of danger even when she was just standing there, minding her own business. It worried him and his other friends. She was undeniably attractive that even accidents were _attracted _to her.

Anxious, Ichigo pulled at his hair. "Orihime."

He was pulling at his hair— and few passersby started to worry, some flipping open their cell phones to call an ambulance because veins and more veins and more viens were popping out and—

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**ii.**

He jerked, head snapping up as he recognized her reiatsu.

"Hime?"

He turned his head around.

In flesh, Orihime, who was astonishingly and _ungracefully, _but pretty, pretty kid, girl, woman— _whatever— _running towards him at full speed, appeared from the corner. She was waving her arms above her head. As she drew closer, Ichigo could not help but slowly grimaced, anticipating danger, accident, tripping, blushing tirade, embarrassment and—

"Kuro— _choo!_"

…he wasn't expecting that.

He wasn't _so _expecting that …

Wait, did she just _sneeze _in _his _face?

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**iii.**

Obviously, Orihime was mortified. Her face went _incredibly _red, redder than _any _red things here in Planet Earth. She started to wave her arms around frantically, stuttering how sorry she was.

"Oh my… _noooo! _I am so sorry— I—"

Another nose-shattering sneeze came.

And amazingly, bits and bits and _bits _of particles hit his face. For the second time around. The most amazing thing was— he didn't _grimace _in disgust— which he was so adept in expressing_. _

Applause, applause.

Furiously, Orihime rubbed her nose with her forearm, sniffing and flushing crazily. Ichigo just blinked down at her.

"I'm sorry…" her voice sounded hoarse and clogged. "Oh, Ichigo-kun, I'm so…" she sniffed loudly, shuddering. Still, she managed a bright, watery smile, her eyes dazed. "I'm so so—"

_Achoo!_

She sneezed again. In his face.

Again, _amazingly, _Ichigo _blinked _at her.

Simply.

Obviously, she was sick, maybe with flu, or cold or something. Her eyes, still bright, were a little dazed. She looked tired, her skin a little pale, a little flushed. Her nose resembled a small, cute, tomato-nose. And her hair, albeit still shiny and golden auburn, was in tangles. His quiet appraisal was interrupted when she sniffed violently, _so violently _that Ichigo feared her nose will cave in. Her body gave a shudder, her shoulders lifting and shivering.

"I'm so sorry, Ichigo-kun— it's so embarrassing—" Her body gave another violent shudder, "and—"

She sneezed again.

It was _so _powerful that she staggered backward, sniveling. Reflexively, Ichigo grabbed her thin wrist and pulled her upright, closer to him. And at the same time— in retrospect, Ichigo applauded her Amazing Timing— she sneezed.

Loudly, violently, wetly.

In his face.

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**iv.**

Ichigo sighed.

Orihime was close to tears. Her large eyes watered. "Ichigo-k-k-kun… I'm s-so sorry… I'm so—"

Another loud sneeze shook her frail body. He can feel the frail bones of her wrist quivering under his hand.

She rubbed her nose with the back of her other hand while struggling to speak. "I'm so sorry… It was… disgusting! Me… sneezing all over your face! It's… It's… unforgivable! Little blue men will hunt me forever and the pastries will come after me because I sneezed and—" Another sneeze, another batch of spit hitting his cheek and lips. "—oh _god, _please! Stay away from me Ichigo-kun!" She waved her free hand while shaking her head, making her self dizzier in the process. "Or else my little blue men will come after you and eat you and digest you and—"

_Achoo!_

A particular loud and forceful sneeze shook her body that Ichigo thought her brain will explode from the sheer force of it.

His brow twitched, watching her body tremble.

"Orihime."

The girl nodded to herself. "I know, I know. It's disgusting and I… I should not have sneeze in your _pretty, helplessly illegally pretty and hot and funny and scowling_ face but I can't help it and I am so sorry!" she despaired, hanging her head. "I feel so bad! Now my germs will populate and… they're _spit, _right? _Oh my god! _I gave you my germs! My bug! My virus! My little blue men! My—"

He can see her little red nose flaring, preparing to sneeze.

"—little orange men! The little red men who carry apples and—"

Her lashes fluttered, a warning sign.

"— and… and—"

Ichigo kissed her before she could sneeze her brains out. Her eyes bulged and her body went rigid. He pulled back a little—

_Achoo!_

Spit flew and hit Ichigo's cheek and lips.

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**v.**

He blinked and sighed.

Orihime smiled a watery smile, her big, gray eyes shimmering.

"I'm so sorry, Ichigo-kun—"

He kissed her again, kissed her until she was limp, until she was breathless, until she was clinging to his lips, until she was dazed, until she was boneless. She went so soft in his arms, her mouth opened and her tongue touched and slid against his. His large hands cupped her head, long coppery strands curling around his long fingers. He pushed his lips harder against hers, filling her mouth with his tongue. Softly, she moaned against his teeth, lips clinging to his as he feasted on her mouth hungrily. Her eyes squeezed shut tighter as his fingertips rubbed her scalp slowly… seductively, making her softer, her toes curled, her spine shaking, shivering, and making her so in love, _so in love, so in love_.

Ichigo pulled away slightly to let her breathe, her mouth still parted, lips wet, when she—

_Achoo!_

Ichigo stared down at her, still holding her head in his hands.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Orihime pulled away to face away from him as she sneezed.

Well… he had expected her to swoon, like she always did every time he kissed her…

However, she remained sneezing, bending over as strings of forceful and loud sneezes shook her body. "I'm _so sorry! I can't stop— choo!_"

Ichigo sighed, watching her struggle, tremble and shudder.

She was _always _beautiful.

Even in her distress, she was beautiful.

Pale and sick, she was beautiful.

Even when she tripped and fell, she was beautiful.

Even when she babbled and ranted and words tumbled off her mouth, she was beautiful.

Even when she struggled, cried, sobbed, whimpered and screamed, she was beautiful.

Even when she sneezed _in_ his face, she was beautiful.

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**vi.**

It really _is _love.

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.and she answers with flying spit

**.end**


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